Happy New Year, but First, a Meltdown

On finding peace and grounding when you feel anything but.

Welcome to another edition of Love, Peace, and Tacos, a weekly newsletter where I share what I’m currently feeling, loving, and eating. New episodes of my podcast We’re Never Doing This Again will return in February, so stay tuned!

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Happy New Year, friends!

My New Year’s Day was delightfully mellow and pleasant. I went for a long walk up to Craigdaroch Castle (I’ve decided that “castle walks” are my new thing), ate delicious lemon cake, laughed with my family, made Polish food for dinner, and finished two books I’d started during the holidays. I also updated my budget for January and organized my new day planner for 2024 because I am a Virgo and I can’t help myself. I went to bed feeling cozy, satisfied, and excited for the year ahead.

So, imagine my surprise when I woke up on January 2nd with a full-blown anxiety attack. When my anxiety hits, it hits hard. My chest becomes painfully tight, my mind races and I struggle to breathe deeply — let alone, think clearly and create. My brain feels like the Twister scene in The Wizard of Oz; my thoughts twisting and howling in an ominous grey cloud.

The worst part about being in the midst of an anxiety storm is that it feels like I’ll never feel “normal” again, even though past evidence suggests otherwise. It’s exhausting and I can’t believe I used to feel like this all the time.

What am I anxious about? A lot of things. I’m leaving on a 20-day trip to Mexico and Nicaragua in a week and still have so much to do before I get on the plane. I’m also looking to move to a new city in 2024 and have some big career, and business goals I want to accomplish along the way. For the past few weeks, my mind has been a running tally of spreadsheets, budgets, and to-do lists. When I woke up on Tuesday, it felt like everything had to be crossed off and accomplished RIGHT NOW.

Seeking relief, I turned to a video by one of my favorite EFT practitioners. Her suggestion: if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the start of the New Year, pause and write down three beautiful moments or things you are proud of from 2023.

I have a few:

I opened myself to love.

Although the outcome wasn’t what I’d hoped, I’m grateful that I opened my heart and let someone in.

I loved my Dad through his illness.

From the moment he went into palliative care to his passing in May, I showed up for him even though it was heartbreaking.

I kept creating through the grief.

I may have taken frequent breaks from this newsletter and producing podcast episodes, but I never completely abandoned either (although, I think if there was ever a year to quit stuff it was 2023). I’m proud of the work I’ve created here.

I created beautiful memories

Even though 2023 was marred by grief, there were also many moments of joy. However, I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t one of my favorites (plus, I know Mark likes to be included in this newsletter!)

This was a great grounding exercise and it helped me take the edge off the anxiety.

What’s one of your beautiful, proud moments from the past year?

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Another proud moment of 2024 is that I finally sold a story I’ve been pitching for a YEAR. For Business Insider I wrote about what it’s like to live in my hometown, a hotspot for filming Hallmark movies. You can read it here.

I also recapped my trip to a sex resort in the Dominican Republic for my Toronto Sun column. Funny story: just days after returning to Canada, the resort announced that it was closing for good. I like to think it’s because THEY COULDN’T HANDLE THE SEXY that was our press trip and the whole place spontaneously combusted, but in reality, it was because the property was losing money and had weird ghost town vibes. I’ll do a more extensive deep dive into this soon, but in the meantime, you can read about my trip here and enjoy this photo of me in a cavernous, semi-abandoned area of the resort.

New podcast episodes will return in February, so stay tuned!

Love, Peace, and Tacos,

Simone