Unlocking Creative Joy

& the anti-depressant power of Beyoncé 🐝

Welcome to another edition of Love, Peace, and Tacos, a weekly newsletter where I share what I’m feeling, loving, and eating. My podcast, We’re Never Doing This Again will be returning this month with brand new episodes. Stay tuned!

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Last weekend, I spent my last day as a 42-year-old meticulously attaching disco ball strips to a silver cowboy hat. I had tickets to go to the Beyoncé Renaissance tour on my birthday and I was determined to make the hat to go with my newly purchased silver cowboy boots.

I’ve seen my share of concerts over the years that have ranged from life-changing (Prince) and unforgettable (D’Angelo, Jill Scott, Erykah Badu) to “meh” (Gwen Stefani, Mariah Carey) and just straight-up weird (Nelly. In 2018. In my defense, I was very high on edibles), but seeing Beyoncé was truly magical.

The talent. The visuals. The sound. The costumes. The crowd. The love. The queerness on display. Beyoncé atop a flying disco horse. The entire experience felt unreal and otherwordly. It was the perfect way the celebrate my birthday & Virgo season.

I saw the show a week ago and haven’t stopped talking about Renaissance since. I even wrote about it for my Toronto Sun column.

Last week, I briefly mentioned how my seasonal depression has come back in full force. Friends, it’s been a struggle and there have been moments where I was worried that my antidepressants had stopped working altogether (in other words, not the Virgo season I was hoping for).

But somewhere between slipping on a pair of silver cowboy boots for the first time and the end of last week, something shifted and it was like my Virgo Powers were reactivated.

I attribute it to what I’m calling the anti-depressive power of Beyoncé.

(FYI, If she sold her essence in pill form, I’d buy that shit, crush it and snort it. Until the FDA approves that, I’ll just continue to listen to Apeshit and Black Parade on repeat.)

I’ve always been inspired by artists who have a clear point of view and use their vision to build creative worlds that their fans can inhabit. Seeing that play out in person (Renaissance isn’t a show, it’s an immersive world), reignited my desire to create and bring my own visions to life.

Up until very recently, I’ve never considered myself a serious Beyoncé fan. I’m more of a casual listener. I like some albums and songs better than others. However, when she released Renaissance last summer, something clicked.

I’ve spent a lot of time over the past week contemplating why I connected with this album and tour on such a visceral level (besides the fact that I’ve been a disco and house nerd since I was 19). Then I stumbled across this quote from Beyoncé’s Instagram that she posted prior to the album’s release.

“My intention was to create a safe place, a place without judgment. A place to be free of perfectionism and overthinking. A place to scream, release, feel freedom. It was a beautiful journey of exploration.”

Intentions matter, because I felt that. We felt that.

That quote also reminds me of a fundamental truth.

I am at my best when I’m making things.

According to my Human Design chart, I am a Manifestor. Manifestors are the initiators of the world. They get new things started. Manifestors are naturally innovative and future-oriented and can start big movements. They thrive with freedom and autonomy.

Whether I’m writing, recording podcasts, or making tiny little things for Joe the Intern and his friends, I always feel most like myself when I’m creating — and I’m pretty damn good at it! (Ahem, this tiny disco cowboy Renaissance outfit that I made for Hammer).

Looking back, this has been a constant in my life since I was a young child. When I follow my spur-of-the-moment impulses and find my flow, creating is fun and easy for me. And yet, far too often, I let my perfectionism paralyze me; my ideas dying on the vine before I share them with others.

It’s jarring to realize that by not creating, I’m actually knee-capping my own joy and pleasure. Yikes.

(I also wonder, where else in my life have I been doing this?)

Don’t get me wrong — I think a certain degree of perfectionism is necessary. If my art required me to fly above thousands of fans atop a sparkly horse à la Queen Bey, I’d damn well hope that my horse guy was a perfectionist. Perfectionism only becomes an issue when it holds us back from creating the stuff we want.

So, I ask you this:

What would happen if we stopped overthinking every last thing and instead allowed ourselves to be guided by the joy of creating?

What if we cared less about what other people thought of us and instead, gave ourselves permission to take up more space?

I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a lot more fun than the alternative.

Love, Peace & Tacos,

Simone

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PS. If you enjoy these kinds of conversations, be sure to check out the inaugural episode of Joybreak - a podcast I host with my friend Amber Adrian, where we share the stuff that’s bringing us joy and lovingly break up with what’s not serving us.